Kiss Me While The Radio Plays Fitting Music
by TwistedAngel08
Summary: "I will never ever leave you." Turns out, we didn't have to worry about me. Not even a week later, he died in a car crash. He had made me promise never to leave him, and then he left me. What kind of asshole does that? Umm, is it still character death if the character was already dead?Lol, Warnings: MalexMale love, and angst, and possibly some language. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Ahh, vocaloids... I've neee done anything with them, they're really my friend Bunny's domain, buuuuuuut, I am in the Christmas spirit so here this is! I've yet to decide if Gakupo gets to live, but I really wanted to post this, finished or not, before Christmas was over. If Gakupo lives, I promise to write a wonderful love scene filled with smutty goodness! Now, who wants todo the disclaimer?**

**Gakupo: I'll do it! TwistedAngel08 does not own any of the songs she mentions, or vocaloids, nor will she ever. She doesn't even have the software, and in all actuality knows little to nothing about us. However, we are forced to put up with her, so I beg you, please review to save my life! I want to live! I want to make sweet, hot, extremely gay love to my boyfriend, Kaito! Please, please, please review! For the love of-**

**Alright, Gakupo, that's enough! Ahem, btw, there's gay love, and a lot of mentioned sex below, and while it doesn't go into much detail, it probably will in the future chapter/s, so if you don't like it, push that cute little back arrow. Yeah, that's right, you push that button, you push it REAL good! Lol, please enjoy, and remember, Gakupo's life depends on the responses I get, so R&R! Merry Christmas!**

**PS! Thanks to the LadyCorrector for helping me out With a couple of mistakes!**

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**Without.**

I had held my breath as I came. I don't know why, I just always have, ever since I was a teenager. He had pushed into me one final time, and came as well with a shout of my name. The pleasure had been so intense, and the look on his face was always heavenly when he came. We had kept rocking, riding out our orgasms, and still, I held my breath. When black had started to lick the edges of my vision, he took a deep breath, kissed me, and blew the air into my mouth. He always did that. I don't know why, he just always had, ever since we were teenagers. His breath had always been my first breath after sex. I remember the look he gave me after that particular time though. It was a look of fear, of worry. Panting, I had said, "Hey, what's wrong?" He hadn't answered for a moment, only kissed me again, this time with more fervor. When he pulled away, I had laughed. "Seriously, what's up, you've been all over me since we got home," I had noted. He hadn't smiled.

"Promise me that you won't leave me," he had said. I remember frowning as he shuddered. "Promise me," he had repeated. "Promise me that you'll never leave me for someone else!" This had startled me, and made me a little angry.

"I would never cheat on you, you know that," I had said crossly. He shook his head.

"I know, but that's not what I mean. I mean, I don't want to lose you, I don't want you to _leave_ me," he had said. "I saw the way you looked at my brother, Gakuko. I saw the way he made you laugh, and it scared me. When was the last time I made you laugh?" His voice had started to rise through the octaves as he worried aloud. "But I promise I'll treat you better, just please, don't leave me." I remember looking at him, and feeling love almost overflow in my heart. I had pulled him close to kiss his forehead, and I remember what I said.

"I will never _ever_ leave you." Turns out, we didn't have to worry about me. Not even a week later, he died in a car crash. He had made me promise never to leave him, and then he left me. What kind of asshole does that? I leaned against the doorframe, looking outside at the snowy road. I left the door open to let any fumes from my little propane heater out. The electricity had gone out because of an ice storm hours ago, so now my only source of entertainment was an old crappy radio that ran on batteries.

My cigarette smoke billowed around me, like a fog that refused to leave. I wasn't smoking a real cigarette, no. It was one of the electric kinds. It was supposed to have been my Christmas present so that I could quit smoking. After the... accident... I found it in his drawer. He had been saving it for me, because he knew I had wanted to quit smoking.

All of a sudden, the electricity came back on, and lights flickered on. A slight smile played across my lips for a moment as I looked at the Christmas lights that other people had on the apartment doors. I had lights too, but they just didn't seem to glow as bright as anyone else's did. _This is going to be my first Christmas without him,_ I thought to myself. The radio in my living room buzzed with static as another song came on. The Three Doors Down song, "Without", floated through my ears. I listened for a moment, but soon the lyrics became just a little too appropriate for the situation. With a sigh, I went in to turn the station.

_"I'm here without you, baby, but you're still on my lonely mind," _the man's voice sang. I froze, cries caught in my throat. Then, with an angry huff, I shook my head and swiped the radio onto the floor. With a loud crack, the radio popped open and out came the batteries. The music quickly faded away without its source of energy, and a smug smirk spread across my lips for a moment. Then I sighed; I had probably broken the radio. _Now what am I gonna do? _I thought. I couldn't watch TV; I sold that in order to pay the rent of my previous apartment. I hadn't felt the need to buy a new one either. _Well, might as well do what I always do,_ I thought. I waited impatiently, holding the phone to my ear as I listened for my mom to answer the phone.

"Hi, Sweetie," she said. I smiled even though she wasn't there.

"Hi Mom, how are you?" I asked.

"I'm fine, you?"

"I'm good." We sat in an awkward silence for a moment until she cleared her throat.

"Whatcha been up to?" she asked. With a breath of relief I told her all I done that day, which, sadly, wasn't much. Then she told me about her day, which had been much more interesting than mine had. After that, there was another awkward silence until she told me she had to go cook dinner for her and Dad. We said bye, and that was that. The whole conversation lasted little less than ten minutes. It was only six o'clock. I still had two hours before I could go to bed. Lacking anything else to do, I went to the kitchen and grabbed a tub of ice cream and a plastic spoon, then headed to the couch. I flipped through one of the magazines on my coffee table as I slowly demolished the tub of pumpkin spice ice cream. There was lots of smiling women clad in scanty Christmas clothes, so I eventually put down the magazine to focus on my ice cream.

I ate slowly, but still finished the tub thirty minutes before eight. Feeling sick, I headed into the bathroom and took a shower, sighing as the hot water ran over my skin, soothing any knots I had in my back. Once I finished, I turned the water off, wrapped the towel around my waist and came out of the warm air into the cold air of the bathroom. I resisted the urge to puke up the ice cream, even though it was settling with my stomach badly. I went into my room, got dressed for bed, _then_ went and puked up the ice cream. "Oh god, I'll never be able to look at another pumpkin pie ever again," I moaned. After brushing my teeth, I finally was able to lie down in bed, and pull the covers over my head to shut out the remnants of another less than mediocre day. Of course, I couldn't get to sleep and instead thought about how much my life sucked. Ever since Gakupo had died, my life had been reduced to a boring ass schedule that didn't include friends, barely any family, and definitely no love. Sometimes, something would remind me of Gakupo, and I wouldn't be able to do anything but crawl into bed and hug the stuffed dragon he had given me when we first started going out. People always asked if I was okay, and in the true meaning of the word, I think I was. But in a way, that was the problem. I was 'okay' but I had always been 'okay'. I wanted to be _better_, not okay. I trudged on day after day, and nothing happened, except for the occasional break down. I was broken without Gakupo, able to function, but nothing more. I was miserable in the fact that I was fine, and there was no way to fix it.

**Chop Suey.**

The alarm clock radio blared in my ear. "_Wake up!_ _Grab a brush and put a little make up!_" it screeched at me. I groaned, smacked the snooze button, and crawled out of bed to begin another day. I wasn't sure, but I was suspicious of the fact that my life has begun to closely resemble purgatory, in the fact that nothing happened, I just sat there waiting for either something bad or something good to happen. I went about my morning business, getting ready to going to my boring job at my cousin's restaurant. I combed my hair and brushed my teeth and washed my face and all that good stuff. Then, I went outside and got the paper, skimming over it. I almost put it down on the coffee table until I saw the headline. **Ten Dead In Soup Kitchen Shooting, Fifteen Injured. **I read the article, almost crying by the time I was done. Some man had snapped, taken guns to the soup kitchen he volunteered in and started shooting everyone in sight. When police tried to apprehend him, he shot himself. I gasped when I saw the name of the kitchen: Kitchen of Angels. Gakupo had volunteered there when he was... Immediately I threw the paper down and pulled out my phone. I dialed my cousin's number and waited, fanning myself with my free hand to calm myself down,

"Hey Kaito, what's up?" my cousin answered.

"I can't come into work today, I'm sick," I said, my voice cracking. I could practically feel his serious demeanor through the phone.

"Kaito, what's up with you man?" he asked. I shook my head even though he couldn't see me.

"Nothing, I'm just sick, that's all. I'll make it up to you, alright, but I can't come in today," I insisted. He sighed.

"Alright, just promise me you're okay."

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry." As soon as he hung up, I threw my phone down, and followed it to the floor, plopping down heavily onto my ass. I took slow, deep breaths, trying to hold back the panic attack that threatened to take hold. Certain things like this freaked me out and gave me panic attacks, which weren't very pleasant. The song from when I woke up rang through my ears. _"I cry when angels deserve to die."_ _It's going to be okay, _I thought to myself. I went to my happy place, a big tent pitched on top of a cloud, far from any urban noises. I almost had it until a car screeched down the street, honking as it went. "Fuck this," I muttered as I got up. I rushed to the kitchen, pulling out a tub of strawberry ice cream from the freezer. As I opened it, the idea passed that I might have an eating disorder, but I ignored it, grabbing the closest piece of silverware and digging in. A tub of ice cream later, I was calm, but sick feeling. The ice cream stuck in my stomach like a cold boulder, and not for the first time I found myself cursing my comfort food. I forced myself to stay on the couch, resisting the urge to run to the bathroom and puke. Bored, I picked up the same magazine from last night, trying to occupy myself. After a moment, though, I threw the magazine at the wall with a noise of disgust. Snatching a pillow from beside me, I covered my face and screamed, somehow disappointed with the muffled sound. I kept screaming, attempting to be louder each time until there was a thunk on the wall from next door.

"Shut the fuck up!" someone shouted.

I threw the pillow in the direction of the sound, replying, "Mind your own fucking business, _jerkhead_!" I clenched my hands into fists, wanting to break something, some_one_.

"Umm, excuse me? We're not bothering you, are we?" someone asked. I jumped up from the couch, startled to find a small blond headed boy peeking out from my kitchen. He gasped as a second boy, a brunette, pushed him out.

"Quit being a wuss, Gabriel," the second boy said. I was surprised enough that there were kids in my apartment, but when wings sprouted from their backs and they began to float, I jerked back.

"What the flying fuck _are_ you guys?!" The blond one, Gabriel, giggled.

"We're angels, silly, and we're here to give you some wonderful, sunshiny news that will bring you out of your gloom, and turn that frown upside down!" he said, waving his arms up and hugging himself to emphasize. The brunette snorted.

"Gabriel, you gay fuck, knock it off," he said, rolling his eyes. Gabriel huffed, his face turning pink.

"Michael, leave me alone and stop being such a meanie!" Michael only stuck his tongue out at his companion, blowing a raspberry.

"Could you two tell me what the Hell you're doing in my apartment?" I interjected. They both looked at me with frowns.

"Now that's not nice language," Michael said, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

"Shut up you hypocrite," I snapped. "Tell me what you came here to tell me before I decide there's nothing wrong with beating my hallucinations." Gabriel peeped in fear and smiled nervously.

"Well, we're here to tell you that your lover is coming back, and soon," he answered. I cocked my head to the side.

"I have hallucinations and they're only here to taunt me? What the fuck?" Gabriel shook his head, opening his mouth to speak. I cut him off with a glare, saying, "You know what? Even if he really were coming back, I would kick Gakupo's ass as soon as he got here for leaving me. I told him that he shouldn't drive when the road was so icy, but did he listen to me? No, he drove off anyways for _hair clips_, and got his ass killed, which was practically saying 'fuck you' in big red letters right in my face, so fuck him too!" Gabriel gasped, and Michael huffed.

"Don't you fucking talk to Gabriel like that, he came to bring good fucking news, so don't shoot the fucking messenger, asshole!" he shouted at me. I snorted, crossing my arms and turning around.

"Whatever. Why don't you go back go where you came from and tell Gakupo what I said. And while you're at it, tell him I said he's assfaced bastard with no regard for other people's hearts," I said, trying to ignore the tear that rolled down my cheek.

"Now that's not a very nice thing to say," a chillingly familiar voice quipped.

**Flightless Bird, American Mouth.**

"Turn around and look at me, Baby," the voice softly commanded. Slowly, I did as I was told, clenching my eyes shut. "Babe, you gotta open your eyes to see me," it chuckled.

"We'll just go," I heard Gabriel whisper. There was a flutter, and I figured that was the end of my hallucination. Heaving a sigh, I cupped my face in my hands, plopping down onto the couch.

"Fuck, I hate my life," I huffed. All of a sudden, the radio flickered on, and the couch dipped as somebody joined me.

"Baby, I'm still here," his voice said over the music. I jerked in fear, then tensed.

"G-Gakupo?" I shuddered, flinching when a pair of familiar hands rested on my shoulders. With a sob, I opened my eyes and saw him, Gakupo, here.

_"Have I found you, flightless bird?"_ the song cooed.

_"Gakupo!" _I launched myself onto him, squeezing him and holding him to me, kissing every inch of him that I could reach. "You feel real, you smell real, you sound real!" I said in between kisses. He laughed, wrapping his arms around me. I was crying, even though this was the happiest I had ever been, but he didn't seem to mind. He just held me close until I calmed.

**Feels Like The First Time.**

After I calmed down, Gakupo kissed me softly, squeezing me. "God, I missed doing that," he mumbled happily. I smiled.

"Me too," I whispered. He kissed my nose. Then frowned.

"Baby, I gotta tell you something, he started. I cut him off with a deep kiss, smiling when he groaned and gave in. I knew where were headed when he pulled me into his lap, and sure enough, we ended up making love, right there on the couch. He was sweet, and gentle, just as he always had been, and the radio voiced the thoughts my brain was too jumbled to think.

_"It feels like the first time! It feels like the very first time!"_ Foreigner cheered. And when I came, it felt as if he has never left. I held my breath, and he breathed for me, holing me tightly to him. Afterwords, we laid on the couch, me on top of him. I held my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat.

"Gakupo, I missed you so much," I said softly. He sighed.

"I missed you too, Baby," he replied.

After a moment, I asked, "Am I too heavy?" He looked genuinely surprised that I asked.

"No, Babe, why?" I blushed.

"I know I've gained weight," I answered. He laughed, shaking his head.

"Baby, you know I don't care about that. Besides, you're not fat, your cute and-" I cut him off with a finger against his lips. "Don't say it," I snapped. "If you say it, I will beat you," he smiled and nodded, so I laid my head down on his bare chest.

"Cute and fluffy!" he said quickly, playfully smacking my butt and catching me off guard. My head snapped up and I glared at him while he grinned cheekily. I smacked his chest, making him grunt.

"Quit being mean to me," I grumbled. He laughed.

"Baby, I still think you're sexy," he said, smacking my butt a little harder. I gasped and he smiled, winking.

"Gakupo, quit being an ass," I huffed. He chuckled, making me frown.

"You're so cute when you pout," he said.

"I'm not pouting."

"Yes you are," he replied.

"No I'm noooooot," I said smacking his chest. He sniggered, shaking his head.

**Apologize.**

Later on, after we had cleaned up and gotten dressed, Gakupo told me to sit down. He looked nervous, which worried me. "What's wrong, Gakupo?" I asked. He shuffled his feet before clearing his throat.

"Baby, I'm not here to stay," he said guiltily. I cocked my head.

"What do you mean, you're not here to stay? You _are_ alive, right? Your here, where would you go?" I asked. He sighed.

"Yes, I'm here, but I'm not alive. I was allowed to visit, but not to stay for good," he answered. The radio buzzed as another song came on, a song with a sad melody. My view of Gakupo blurred as my eyes filled with tears. I blinked to clear them away.

"I don't get to keep you?" I asked, my voice cracking. He slowly shook his head. "Then why are you here?"

He cleared his throat again, shuffling his feet. "I wanted to spend one last Christmas with you, and I needed to get something off my chest," he answered. I looked at him expectantly, holding back more tears. He took a deep breath, saying, "Baby... Kaito, in the entire time we were together, I only lied once." My breathing hitched; what had he lied about. "When I drove off that last time, I told you I was buying hair clips, but in reality, I was getting this." He pulled a small box from his pocket. He handed it to me, and I looked at him before taking it and opening it. Inside was a simple chain that had a small circular locket. On the face of the locket was a small sapphire that glinted at me. On the inside was a lock of purple hair, Gakupo's. It was tied together with a single strand of blue hair, mine.

My hands shook as I said, "You think I'd rather have a locket than you?" He sighed as the song went into its refrain.

_"But it's too late to apologize, it's too late...!"_ the song insisted.

"Kaito, I know you're upset, and you have every right to be," he muttered. I glared at him before ripping the locket out of the box and yanking it on.

"I hate you right now," I snapped. "If you weren't already dead, I'd hang you with your own hair, you stupid ass bastard." He nodded, unwilling to argue. I stood up from the couch and punched him in the face as hard as I could, pushing him away with the force. It hurt, but I didn't want him to know, so I ignored the pain, instead giving him the angriest look I had ever given anyone. When he looked back at me, his eye shone black for a moment before fading back to a pale peach. I stared him down for a moment before I grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. He seemed surprised, but didn't pull away. After biting his lips and tongue, I pulled back and he winced, as if wondering what I would do next. "You better tell me something good before I kick your ass," I told him.

He smiled weakly, saying, "I'm here until 12:01 of December twenty-sixth." _Two days,_ I thought. _Two more days to spend with the love of my life._

"Alright... Alright, two days is better than nothing," I said, the anger in my voice fading away. He nodded, agreeing. I was fine until he pressed his lips against my forehead, whispering a soft apology. That's when I burst into tears and buried my face in his chest, clinging to him tightly.

"I'm sorry, Baby, I'm so sorry," he sighed, holding onto me.

Again, the song went into refrain, crying _"But it's too late to apologize, it's too late...!"_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Wow, only two reviews, and one was to correct me! While I'm thoroughly grateful for that, I had expected more reviews, especially with Gakupo's life on the line. Sigh, oh well, this story is for my friend anyways. Btw, N/R means no radio because I was too lazy to find a song about driving. So yeah... that's a thing. And if I'm using the vocaloids wrong, I'm sorry, but I honestly don't know how they are related to each other. Anyways, could someone do the disclaimer?**

**Kaito: I will! TwistedAngel08 does not own vocaloids, and never will, nor does she own any of the songs she mentions, so please don't sue her, 'cause she would probably take it out on us!**

******Warning: A bit of angst, some drunken conversation, what might seem like incest if you squint, and a bit of violence to topic all off. And as always, man love, don't like? Don't read! Please enjoy, and don't forget to R&R!**

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******Walking After You.**  
After a while, I pulled away, sniffing. "You can't have come down here just to give me a trinket. You could have just left that on my doorstep. What are you really here to do?" I asked. The radio flickered as a new song came on, and this one wasn't much more cheerful than the last one. He sighed, pulling back.

"Alright, you want to know?" I nodded, crossing my arms. "Baby, I love you, and I love to know that you love me, but I'm gone. You need to let go, Kaito," he answered. My eyes grew wide as he continued. "I mean, Baby, you don't really function all that well alone, and while I would hate to see you with someone else, if it makes you happy, then you should do it." I shook my head slowly, trying to regather my thoughts.

"You want to... get rid of me?" I asked slowly.

"No! No no no! That's not it at all, I swear!" he said quickly. "I just want you to be happy, is all."

_"If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you,"_ the Foo Fighters insisted.

"Look, that's really noble and all, but I love you, Gakupo, and I don't want anyone else but _you_," I stated.

"You know that's impossible, Babe, I'm dead."

"Then be undead! Er, I mean, be alive!"

"You really think it's that simple?"

"But if it's not simple, then it's complicated, and if it's complicated, then it _is_!" I shouted. He cocked his head, clearly not understanding me.

"Look, baby, you can't... I'm not supposed to... Ugh!" He couldn't quite figure out what to say. Eventually, he sighed, standing up. "Maybe I should just go, I never should have come in the first place," he said quietly. He started to walk away and I jumped up, grabbing him.

"Don't you dare leave me!" I held onto him, turning us so that I blocked his way to the door. "You've given yourself away, now, so you have to tell me. What would I have to give up in order to keep you?" I asked. He fidgeted, looking everywhere but at me, as if debating whether or not to tell me.

Finally, he gave up, saying "I don't know what you would have to give up, Babe, you would have to talk with God about that. And in order to earn an audience with God, you would have to convince Death to take you there." I cocked my head, so he continued explaining. "God only handles what he has to, and he tries to keep everything else natural, so he has workers help him out, one of which being Death. Death also works as a sort of secretary, seeing as most of the people who need to talk with God are dead.

"You, however, are not dead, and that is the way it is going to stay for several decades. I'm telling you, it would be better to move on. Go out with that Big Al guy, he seemed nice." I stared at him in disbelief for a moment, then pushed him away, turning around. "Babe? Where are you-"

"I need to be away from you to think, alright?" I snapped. He didn't say a word as I left the room. I stalked off to my room, grabbed my keys and left again, heading out the front door.

"Baby!" Gakupo called. I stopped with my hand on the doorknob. "Don't do anything stupid, okay?" he asked quietly. I laughed, shaking my head.

"Like driving in an ice-storm?" I retorted. When he didn't answer, I opened the door and hurried out.

**N/R.**

I got in my car and drove, not caring where I was headed. I had GPS, if I got lost I could always use it to find my way home again. I didn't turn the radio on; I was getting sick of hearing songs that were all too appropriate for the moment. "Who does he think he is?" I raged. "Does he honestly think he can just come and go as he pleases? After losing him, does he really think I'm willing to do it again?" I reached into my pocket for my electric cigarette, stabbing into my mouth angrily. The , after a moments thought, I threw it into the other seat and pulled my real cigarettes out of the glove box. At a stop sign, I lit it and inhaled deeply, coughing on my first real smoke in months. Soon though, I was once again accustomed to its bitter taste. Reluctantly, I rolled down the window, wincing at the cold. I hated winter, but I hated boxing myself in my own smoke more. As I drove, I began to recognise the route I was following. Sure enough, I ended up idling in neutral in front of my cousin's restaurant. I would've pulled out and left, but he saw me and smiled, waving me in. With a groan, I turned off my car, put my keys in my pocket, and got out. I didn't bother locking as I had nothing of value in the car.

"Hey couz!" Akaito said as I came in. "I thought you weren't feeling good." He raised an eyebrow playfully, nudging me. I smiled half-heartedly as he pulled over to a booth and sitting me down. "How 'bout I buy you a couple of drinks to help you feel better?" he said, winking.

**Need You Now.**

When Akaito said "a couple of drinks", he usually meant, "enough drinks to get you drunk enough to blow Chunks". Which is pretty inebriated, seeing as Chunks was his dog. Despite that, and the fact that I had to drive home, I let him buy me drinks anyways. I felt as if I was entitled to a little drinking, given how stressed I was. And once it was closing time, and everyone was gone, he started to drink with me. He turned up the restaurant's radio so we could sing with the songs we knew, and mumbled to the ones we didn't.

"Man, I'm in such a pickle," I said eventually, talking slowly so I didn't slur.

"What's that, lil' couz? Whose azz 'ave I gotta tap- er, kick?" He asked, taking a long swig from a bottle of vodka. I shook my head.

"Nah, dude, I've got a... _cat_ that's been givin' me troub-prob- er, issues," I responded drunkenly. Thankfully however, I wasn't drunk enough to start talking about Gakupo. He looked at me intensely, as if he were completely rapt with my every word. Which he probably was; we _were_ pretty drunk. "See, this, uh, cat came, and I was so excited, cause I've been pretty lonely, right?" I asked. He nodded slowly, taking another drink from his vodka. I myself took a draft of the rum I had. I winced at the burn as it went down my throat. "Well, I've already just completely become attached to this cat, but even though I've already... er, _fed_ the _cat_, he- uh, _it_ wants to leave." He gasped in shock.

"What? No!" he protested. I nodded sadly.

"I know right?"

"That lil' furry bastard!" He slammed a hand against the table indignantly, as if it was him that the cat was being ungrateful towards. "That's not right! You should sue the damn thing for emotional distress!" I laughed, making Akaito blush. "Well, alright, so you can't _sue_ the thing, but you shouldn't let it walk all over you, even if it does have more legs than you," he insisted. I smiled, agreeing.

"The thing is, there's something I can do to get the cat to stay, but he- it won't tell me what that is," I continued sadly. He nodded, then snorted.

"Damn, couz, you never have had much luck with animals. Remember the duck?" he asked.

"You promised to never mention that again!" I whined. He laughed and downed the rest of the vodka, rolling the empty bottle away from the us. Then, he crawled over the table and into my lap.

"Poor Kaito," he cooed. "I'll be your kitty." And with that, he licked me from the edge of my jaw to my temple.

For a moment, all I could do was blink stupidly.

Then I said "You're drunk, aren't you?" He laughed.

"Does a polar best fly south for the winter?" he asked confidently. I cocked my head, confused.

"Uhh, no," I answered. He looked at me for a moment, then a look of understanding crossed his face.

"Then yes, I am very drunk," he admitted with a chuckle. He slid off my lap and for a while, we sat quiet, listening to the music. Soon, I started to think about Gakupo, and tears slowly slid down my cheeks.

_"It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now,"_ the radio declared.

"We should probably go home," Akaito said softly. "It really is a quarter after one." I sniffed and nodded, sliding out of the booth. "I'm gonna call a cab, do you want to share?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Nah, I wanna be alone for a few minutes. I'll sit out in the parking lot and call a cab when I'm ready to go face the cat," I lied. He raised an eyebrow, then shrugged.

"Alright, suit yourself. Just promise me you won't try to drive, okay? See you later, couz." With that, we headed out, him locking the door and me getting into my car to stay warm. When his cab arrived, he said, "Promise me you won't drive!" I nodded guiltily, watching the cab drive off. As soon as he was gone, I put my key into the ignition, turning it.

**Mama, I'm Comin' Home.**

As the car roared to life I turned the heater on, rubbing my cold hands together. Then, I pulled out of the parking lot, heading home. I turned the radio up just a bit, so I wouldn't have to sit in silence. While I drove, I pulled out my cellphone and dialled my home phone. It rang, and rang, and rang, and then rang some more, but he didn't pick up.

_"Hey, you've reached Gakupo and Kaito's messaging machine. Please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as we can! Bye" _ I groaned, but then smiled. He didn't have to pick up, but he still had to listen to my voice message.

"Gakupo? I know you're there, so... Just listen, please," I started. "I don't know if you're mad at me, but if you are, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have walked out of there like that. I just wanted to let you know I'm not doing anything stupid." _Like driving home drunk?_ I asked myself.

_"Mama, I'm coming home. I'm coming home!"_ my radio announced. I nodded to no one in particular.

"Gakupo, I'm coming home, so we can talk this out then, but I just wanted to say I love you," I said earnestly. I would've kept going, but the phone jerked out of my hands as my car jolted. Honestly, this wouldn't have worried me, had my car not started _rolling_. I refused to scream so glass wouldn't fly down my throat, and clenched my eyes shut to protect them. Soon, the only sounds were the tinkling of shattering windows and the grating keen of crunching metal. As the car rolled, my space got smaller and smaller until every bit of me was pressed against. The left side of me burned from how hot friction made the metal, and I couldn't help it. I screamed. And then, silence. The car had stopped, right side up no less. Adrenaline coursed through my blood as I grabbed hold of the hot door handle and pushed the door open. I spilled out of the pavement, crying out as little bits of glass bit into my side. I shakily stood up, and hurried from the car, afraid it my explode. Soon though, moving became too much, and I collapsed onto the ground. Black licked at my vision like flame, making the night darker and darker until _poof_! I blacked out.

**Another One Bites The Dust.**

I groaned as music flew into my sleep, swirling up my dreams like a whisk. Someone turned me over, and as I opened my eyes, I thought I either had to be dead or still dreaming because I saw Death. A grinning skull glared down at me, huffing.

"I could have sworn you were dead," he grumbled as his face morphed into that of a young man.

_"Another one bites the dust," _his little radio proclaimed.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Aaaaaand here is chapter three. This was slightly depressing to write because... well, you'll see. Anyways! Who's going to do the disclaimer?**

**Akaito: Do I can it!**

**You're still drunk, aren't you Akaito?**

**Akaito: Yuup! TwistedAngel08 doesn't own vocaloids, or any of these fine songs she mentions. She just borrowing us, and promises to give us back as sober as we were before the story.**

**Thank you Akaito! As always, a few warnings, and then we can get to the story!**

******Warning: Male x Male love, brief sex, language, and fighting. You don't like it? Well then don't read it. Remember to R&R, all opinions welcome, even flames.**

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**Another One Bites The Dust. (Cont.)**

"Am I dead?!" I yelped, jerking back from the young man. He snorted, shaking his head.

"No, you're not dead. But I wouldn't be surprised if it happens soon, your bleeding pretty badly," he said nonchalantly, pointing to my leg. I looked down and almost yelled. The side of my left leg had a long, ugly gash that was red and shined in the lamppost's light. Then I noticed something.

"What do you mean? I-I'm not bleeding," I said shakily. He shrugged.

"That's because I can't take someone who isn't dead. When I'm around, technically your body freezes and doesn't change until I'm gone. And I really should be going, there are other dead people waiting for me to come get them." With that, he began to turn and fade away.

"No!" I cried. "Please don't leave me!" He turned back, solidifying with a huff.

"Look, I know this must be scary for you, but I promise everything will make sense when you die. Just let it happen, all right? I'll be back to get you," he said softly. Again, he began to fade, a sympathetic gaze on his face.

"No, wait! Please, I'm not ready! Please!" Soon, though, he was gone, disappeared off into the black of night. As soon as my brain registered this, my body began to sear with pain, and I screamed. It felt like someone had started to saw off my leg and then had decided to take a break. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and the salt bit into the cuts on my face, making me whimper. "Gakupo," I keened. "Gakupo!"

**Gakupo's Pov**

After Kaito had left, I had shut off the radio. I needed to think, and it was hard to do that with the damn thing crackling every three or four minutes. What was Kaito doing? Where was he? I had asked him not to do anything stupid, but... He never made any promises. If he did anything to himself, if he hurt himself...! Immediately I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Kaito wasn't that stupid, he'd probably be fine. If anything, he'd probably end up coming home drink and throwing himself into my arms, saying we shouldn't ruin the rest of our time fighting. At least, I hoped that would happen. _Oh, of course it will_, I chided myself. How could I doubt Kaito?

"I should trust him," I said to myself. All of a sudden, the phone rang, startling me. I waited for the caller to leave a message because I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone other than Kaito. To my surprise, it was Kaito! I heaved a sigh of relief. Okay, so I had been worried, but Kaito was saying he was fine and that everything was fine- then the message was interrupted by a crash. I jumped up, racing to the message machine to see if the sound had been on my side, but it was fine. "No!" I hurried to the front door, wrenching it open. I didn't care if I broke a rule and let someone see me, Kaito needed me. I ran towards the road, trying to figure out where he might have gone. _Akaito, he always goes to Akaito when he needs to talk, _I thought.

As I ran, my body began to fade. Fading meant going back to heaven, and the only reason that should happen was if my time was up, or if Kaito was… "No! Kaito, please Baby, hang in there!" My side began to ache. It was as if someone was taking a knife and sliding it between my ribs. But I had to keep going. I had to reach him. My vision began to blur. I wondered what was wrong with me until I realised I was crying. I blinked my eyes to clear the tears away, and the next thing I knew… I was in heaven. I slowly stopped running, ending up at the reception desk.

"Oh hey, Gakupo, how was your visit?" the man at the desk asked. I didn't answer, stunned by what had just happened. Kaito had… died… and I hadn't been there for him. "Gakupo? You okay? It's me, Greg. I checked you in when you died, remember?" I nodded dumbly, tears streaming down my cheeks. "What happened?" Greg asked, worried.

"Kaito died…" I said softly. Then, with fire in my voice I asked, "Has he checked in yet?!" Greg flinched, shrugging.

"Kaito what?" he asked, all business.

"Shion."

"What colour is his hair?"

"Blue."

"Uhhh… yeah, he's being briefed right now."

"By who?"

Greg checked the messy stack of papers on his desk, holding up a finger. Then, he said, "Michael's briefing him."

"Wait, Michael-and-Gabriel Michael?" I asked, confused. He nodded. "Oh God, I gotta go before he scars my fucking boyfriend."Greg chuckled.

"Good luck, and tell the little guy I said hi!" he called after me as I ran off. I went to the on-going-bonfire on the edge of the city, Eden, and sure enough, there was Michael and Kaito.

"Welcome to Hell!" I heard Michael yell. _Goddammit!_ I cursed to myself. "I'm going to be your personal guide and tormentor. I'll fill you in on the rules: you can not do anything without permission. If you do, you will _burn_. You must ask me for permission to do stuff. If you ask anyone else, you will _burn_. If anyone tells you to do something, you must do it without questions. If you ask questions, you will _burn_. Now, any questions?"

"Michael! Shut the hell up and get away from my boyfriend before I make you eat your own colon!" I shouted angrily. The 'angel's' head snapped up from Kaito and towards me, frowning.

"Ah, come on, dude! That was fucking hilarious, you should have seen his face when I told him this was Hell!" he argued. Kaito looked toward me, a scared look on his face.

"Gakupo?" he asked quietly. The anger quickly melted away from my expression as I nodded. With a cry, he ran towards me, throwing himself into my arms. "Oh Gakupo! I missed you so much!" He sobbed into my chest, clinging tightly to me.

"Michael, what the Hell? You were banned from briefing people after you shoved your foot up the old guy's ass," I snapped at the brunette. He huffed.

"That guy was not old, he was forty-two! And they need all the hands they can get, what with all the seasonal suicides and drunk-driving crashes." he explained. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever, just stay the fuck away from my boyfriend. You better not have given him permanent mental damage." I led Kaito off, walking to the street. When he saw the bustling street, he gasped, making me smile. The golden roads, marble sidewalks and silver lampposts did tend to take your breath away the first time you saw them. But my favourite thing about Heaven was the sky. It was always simultaneously sunny, yet nighttime, with stars, and the moon circling the sun in a never ending dance. The sun and moon always sat opposite of each in the sky, never rising or setting, just circling. It was never too bright, nor too dark, and the rain was always warm and pleasant. I hailed a carriage drawn by a red horse, gently pulling Kaito in with me.

"And where would you to like to go this fine day? Or night, I suppose," the driver said with a chuckle. I gave him the address of my- now our- home, and he took off, snapping his fingers at the horse. Kaito squeezed me, laying his head on my shoulder.

"Where are we? We're not really in Hell, are we?" he asked, still slightly shaken from his encounter with the idiot angel. I shook my head.

"No, of course not. You really think Hell could be so beautiful?" I answered. He sighed in relief.

"I guess that makes sense..." he said with a small smile. After a moment, he kissed my neck, humming contentedly. "I missed you so much," he said for the second time. Something about that seemed off...

"How did you, er..." I trailed off, not sure how to put it.

"Die?" he asked. I nodded. He sighed, sitting up. "I don't know. I... I might have fallen..."

"Fallen? What were you doing that you could have fallen?"

"I was... uhh, I..." He was obviously thinking very hard, but it took a while before he said, "I was putting up Christmas lights!" _It shouldn't be that hard for him to remember..._ I thought to myself

"What's the last date you remember?" I asked cautiously.

"That's a weird question... But I guess it was... December fourteenth," he answered. I stiffened, but relaxed myself immediately. "Why, what's wrong?" As I opened my mouth to answer, the carriage stopped in front of my- our house.

"Come on, we're home," I said, pulling him out with me. "Thank sir, had a good night," I called to the driver. He laughed and snapped his fingers, going off to pick someone else up.

**Where Have You Been?**

I let Gakupo lead me to the house, irritated that he hadn't answered my question. But everything was fine, I guessed. Sure, I was dead, and my family would miss me, but I was with Gakupo, and that was all I needed. He told me to close my eyes when we reached the door, and as I did, he snatched me up, making me gasp. "Gakupo! Put me down, you'll drop me!" I said, clutching his arms fearfully.

"I wouldn't drop you, silly. Remember, don't open your eyes till I say so, okay?" I huffed, but nodded, squeaking when he opened the door and started walking.

"If you drop me, I _will_ kick your ass," I snapped. He only laughed, plopping me onto something soft. "Asshole!" I yelled, looking up at him. "I wasn't joking…" my voice trailed off as I looked around at the beautiful house. The walls were a light blue, the furniture all matched, and the floor was wood! "Whose house did you bring us to?" I asked, my eyes narrowed. He chuckled.

"This is our house, baby." I couldn't believe it. The room was large and spacious, with pictures on the walls of me, of people I didn't know smiling with Gakupo, or just something Gakupo had liked. A radio quietly played a sombre song like background music. "That is, if you still want to be with me," Gakupo said shyly. "If not, we can get you your own house and-"I cut him off by yanking him down onto the couch with me, kissing him.

"This is perfect," I whispered happily. He kissed me back with fervour, and my heart soared. _It's been too long! _I thought_. I've missed kissing him so much… _I ended up on my back, with Gakupo on top of me, kissing every inch of skin he could reach. I pushed back against him, feeling a heat rise up within me from the pit of my belly. When he sucked on a particular spot on my neck, I let out a low cry, tilting my head to offer better access. He smiled so wide that I could feel his smirk on my skin, and it only fuelled my fire, making me want him that much more.

"Gakupo..." I moaned. He pulled back, nodding as he worked the buttons of my shirt. Soon, he had me shirtless with my pants halfway down my legs, but being so heated, I didn't feel one ounce of embarrassment. He toyed with me, slowly pulling down my underwear, and smirking all the while. "Gakupo, please don't tease me," I whined. He laughed, the licked at the very tip of my erection, making me jerk. I shivered, shock running up from my groin all the way out the tips of my fingers. "More," I whispered hungrily.

He licked the head again with a smile, saying in singsong, "Just the ti~p." I looked at him, confused.

"What... The Hell... Was that?" I asked in between licks. I groaned particularly loud when he sucked on the head, tonguing the slit.

"I don't know really, it just came out," he said coyly around my cock. I bucked at the vibrations, holding back all sorts of noises.

"You better have been lying," I huffed, bucking again.

He placed his hands firmly on my hips to keep me still, purring, "I don't think I could keep my word on that even if I wanted to." Then he swallowed me whole, making me cry out. When my cock hit the back of his throat I moaned, shuddering in delight.

_"You can have me all you want, any way, any day, to show me where you are tonight,"_ the song said invitingly. I agreed with Miss Rihanna on this one.

"Oh god, Gakupo," I started to say, but whatever it was disappeared from my mind. Conscious thought was now impossible. It was all too much, but still not enough, and sure enough, we ended up making love, right there on the couch. He was sweet, and gentle, just as he always had been; it felt as though he had never died…. When I came, it just as amazing as it had always been. I held my breath, and he breathed for me, holding me tightly to him.

**Where Did It All Go Wrong?**

Afterwards, we laid on the couch, me on top of him. I held my hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

"Gakupo, I missed you so much," I said softly. He sighed.

"I missed you too, Baby," he replied, giving me an odd look.

After a moment, I asked, "Am I too heavy?" He looked really surprised that I asked.

"No, Babe, why?" he asked slowly. I blushed.

"I know I've gained weight," I answered. He was quiet for a moment, then he laughed, shaking his head.

"Baby, you know I don't care about that. Besides, you're not fat, your cute and-" I cut him off with a finger against his lips. "Don't say it," I snapped. "If you say it, I will beat you," he smiled reluctantly and nodded, so I laid my head down on his bare chest, wondering what he was acting weird about.

"Cute and fluffy!" he said quickly, smacking my butt and catching me off guard. My head snapped up and I glared at him while he grinned cheekily. I smacked his chest, making him grunt.

"Quit being mean to me," I grumbled. He laughed.

"Baby, I still think you're sexy," he said, smacking my butt a little harder. I gasped and he smiled, giving me a curious look.

"Gakupo, quit being an ass," I huffed. He chuckled, making me frown.

"You're so cute when you pout," he said.

"I'm not pouting."

"Yes you are," he replied.

"No I'm noooooot," I said smacking his chest. He laughed, but it sounded forced. With a slightly worried look on his face, he kissed me. We got cleaned up and dressed, and he pulled me into the living room, setting me down in a chair. He looked nervous, which worried me. "What's wrong, Gakupo?" I asked. He shuffled his feet before clearing his throat.

"Baby, are you sure the last day you remember is December fourteenth?" he asked. I snorted.

"What do you mean, am I sure? Of course I'm sure," I said, confused. He shook his head slowly.

"No baby, tonight is Christmas Eve," he said hopefully. I narrowed my eyes.

"Uh, no it's not, Gakupo, don't mess with me. This isn't funny, it's stupid." He groaned, walking off. "Hey! Don't be mad at me just because I'm not in the mood for your dumb joke," I called after him. I jumped up and followed him into what I assumed was an office. He ignored me, opening a little fridge and pulling a bottle of beer out of it. Popping the cap off, he began downing it, still giving no acknowledgement that I was there. "Hey, _asshole,_ quit drinking and talk to me!" I snapped. He snorted, throwing the empty bottle behind his back. I winced as it shattered against the wall.

Sitting down in a chair, he said, "I probably should have said the same thing. Maybe then, you wouldn't have died."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, worried.

"You wouldn't remember, you were drunk when you died," he growled, getting another bottle of beer. I snatched it from him, throwing it against the ground. It exploded, splashing us with the alcoholic drink.

"_Bullshit!_ How could you know something like that?!" I yelled. He jumped to his feet, getting uncomfortably close.

"I came to see you because you were miserable, and I had to convince you it was okay to move on. But when I told you I wasn't there to stay, you got angry with me and drove off, _apparently_ to drink," he said angrily. I snorted, stomping off. He followed me, saying, "Then, I assume you attempted to drive home, and while _driving drunk_, you called your home phone, leaving me a message to promise that you weren't doing anything _stupid!_"

"Shut the fuck up! Leave me alone, asshole!" I shouted back. He huffed, grabbing my arm and whipping me around. "Get off!" I yanked my arm, but he wouldn't let go.

"Are you happy now? We know how you died, _and_ you get to stay in heaven, where no one works, every day is perfect, and _no one has kid,_" he spat. I froze.

"What do you mean, 'no one has kids'?" I asked. He sneered, letting go of my arm.

"Did you notice how there was absolutely no kids on the streets? Everyone in heaven is a young adult, regardless of how old they were when they died. No one gets pregnant, no one has babies, no one even _adopts_," he explained bitterly. "But hey you got what you wanted. Who knows, you might've crashed your car on purpose." That last sentence felt like a slap to my face, and he just kept talking. "Why are there is there a fence and gate surrounding heaven? Because people are _dying_ to get in," he said, laughing coldly.

"Get out!" I shouted, turning away. "Just get out! Even if what you're saying is true, I don't need your shit! Get out, get out, get out!" I clenched my eyes shut, not wanting tears to fall. I felt him walk past me. The door opened and slammed shut, causing pictures to fall off the walls. When I was sure he was gone, I started to cry, walking into the living room and plopping onto the floor. The radio seemed just as upset.

_"Where did it all go wrong?"_ Oasis asked.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N oh gawds, the shameful moment when your fic is still based during Christmas and it's May... I AM SOOOOOO SORRY! To make up for my terrible absence (caused by school, joining a new club, several complications with my love life, and just in general, life) I've written a slightly longer, although much more angsty chapter. Please enjoy, and try not to hate me too much. I promise, my next update won't take as long! Now who wants to do the disclaimer?**

**Michael: I can do it!**

**Errrr, I'm not so sure that's a good-**

**Michael: Listen up assholes! If you think TwistedAngel owns vocaloids, you're an idiot. If you try to sue her for writing these fics, you're probably just a douchebag. So if you've got any problems, you can take them and shove them up your-**

** Thank you, Michael! Ehehehe, _anyways_... Warnings! ********Male x Male love, brief kissing, maybe some language, and angst. Lots and lots of angst. You don't like it? Well then don't read it. Remember to R&R, all opinions welcome, even flames.**

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**Who Could It Be Now?**

After a while, I raided the freezer, finding the ice-cream I wanted and grabbing a random piece of silverware- I didn't care if it was a spoon, a fork, or even a damn knife, as long as I could get the cold, calming treat into my belly. I sprawled out on the couch, sadly shoveling large bites into my mouth as tears rolled down my cheeks. As I ate, I struggled to remember the moments right before my death, but in truth, I couldn't even remember dying! Was it true? Had I really died on purpose? I tried to tell myself that I would never do something like that, because I had people who would be hurt so deeply if I did: my cousin, Akaito, my mother, my father, all my friends... But no matter how convinced I was of my innocence, I couldn't get Gakupo's words out of my head.

_"You attempted to drive home, and while driving drunk, you called your home phone, leaving me a message to promise that you weren't doing anything _stupid_!"_

He had been so angry, so convinced that I had killed myself… was he right? _No! Of course he wasn't right, _I thought. But I wasn't so sure.

"Even if he _was_ telling the truth, that gave him no right to treat me the way he did," I growled under my breath. Grumbling to myself I angrily shoved another bite of ice-cream into my mouth, hardly waiting to swallow before chasing the bite down with another scoop. Before I knew it, a dull pain exploded behind my eyes, making me cry. With a moan, I pressed my fingers to my temples, pushing hard as if I could squeeze the pain out of my head. After a few moments, the pain subsided, leaving me panting. _Brain-freeze, the cruel avenger of ice-cream,_ I thought wryly. Glaring at the tub of ice-cream, I abandoned it in favor of going in to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. Just as I found where the cups were, there was a knock at the door, making me jerk slightly in surprise.

_"Who can it be now?"_ Men at Work asked through the radio. _Who indeed?_ With a sigh, I went back in to the living room, opening the door a bit reluctantly. Upon seeing who it was however, I slammed it shut, angry all over again.

"Go away, asshole!" I shouted.

"Come on, let me in! I'm sorry," the angel said back. I snorted. That crazy bastard was sorry? Should've thought of that before he told me I was in hell! "Kaito, please? I really am sorry; we got off on the wrong foot. Please let me in so I can apologize properly." I was tempted to ignore the angel until he left, but something stopped me… maybe it was his tone of voice. He spoke so softly, guilt threaded through his voice in an almost tangible way. Was he really sorry? Hesitantly, I opened the door to find out. "Ah, there you are," he said with a grin. I fought the urge to look at him with anything but contempt in my eyes.

"You told me I was in hell," I said. His smile faded before he looked down, shuffling his feet. With how small and young he looked, he might as well have been a child apologizing to his mother for breaking her favorite lamp. It was impossible not to soften my gaze.

"I _am_ sorry about that. I was just joking, but I guess it affected you more than I thought it would. I was wondering if you wanted to start over. Here, I'll go first," he said, looking up. With a bright, professional smile, he said, "Hello, and welcome to Heaven. My name is Michael, and for the next week, I will be your guide. Is there anything you wanted to know, or anyone specific that you wanted to see? I can take to see relatives you've lost before you yourself came to join us in this wonderful place." The way he spoke was so perky and chipper that I couldn't help myself- a bark of laughter found its way out of me, making him frown.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh," I giggled, hiding my mouth with my hand. He rolled his eyes, shrugging. Feeling bad, I stepped to the side. "How about you come in and we start over again?" He considered this for a moment before taking me up on the offer and walking in.

"It looks like Gakupo's rearranged the furniture since the last time I was here," he said thoughtfully. I looked at him in surprise.

'You know Gakupo? Are you friends with him?" I asked. He nodded, chuckling.

"Yeah, Gakupo is one of the few people who can stand my, uh, antics." I smiled slightly.

"That sounds like him. Usually, he's pretty accepting. He always did like the weird ones..." The angel snorted.

"Yeah, I've noticed that…." He sat down on the couch and I followed suit, sitting on the opposite side so it wouldn't be awkward. Groaning, Michael, rolled his shoulders in discomfort.

"Are you alright?" I asked, concerned. He nodded, waving me off.

"I just hate restraining myself all the time. You don't mind if I stretch out, do you?" I assumed he meant having to keep his wings squeezed closed, he had had them open when I first met him and it would surely be more comfortable, so I nodded.

"Of course, make yourself comfortable," I said kindly. He smiled with gratitude, standing.

"Thanks." And with that, he blinded me with a flash of light, making me gasp. Everything went white and I put my hands out instinctively, in case something tried to hit me. "Sorry about that, I should've told you to close your eyes," a different voice said. I flinched when I felt the couch dip back down, indicating that Michael-or whoever was there now- had sat down. He- because the voice was _definitely_ male- took my hands and put them in my lap, chuckling with guilt. "I always forget about that part."

"Wh-what happened, I can't see," I said, my voice small and meek. A hand patted my shoulder comfortingly and I leaned into the touch, wanting anything I could use to distinguish location with.

"A lot of angels have two forms, one childish and one grown. It's sort of uncomfortable to be in my childlike form, but I forgot that when I'm changing like that, there's nothing to stop you from seeing my true form, and it blinds humans," he said softly. My breathing hitched when he said blind, and he hurried to elaborate. "Don't worry, it's only temporary. You'll be able to see in a few moments. You're just lucky you didn't see God while he was changing like that- you might have exploded." Even as he spoke, the whiteness dimmed and bit by bit, the living room came in to focus. When I sighed in relief, Michael laughed. "Better?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but froze upon seeing the more grown up version of the angel next to me.

He was absolutely gorgeous.

His skin was a beautiful shade of tan, as though he spent every day in the sun, perhaps swimming or even just napping outside. His jaw was squared, but gently so, and came to a chin lightly dusted in a dark brown, as if he had forgotten to shave when he woke up. His cheekbones sat fairly high upon his face, but not so high that he looked like a horse and his cheeks had the slightest contour, making his face aesthetically interesting rather than blandly round. He had a perfect, straight nose that was neither too small nor too big, and underneath that nose was a pair of full, pale pink lips, held only _just_ apart as if he wanted to ask a question but was too shy. But he wasn't shy, and you could see that in his confident eyes, which were a soft yet vivid shade of blue and seemed to hold an everlasting grin. And to top all of this off- literally- was a soft mass of thick, large curls that framed his face held a natural healthy sheen, not the shine of sweat or grease.

I had the strangest urge to tangle my fingers in those curls….

_Wait, _what?!_ No, no, no, that is _not_ what I want to do, not when Gakupo could come home any minute! What would he say, what would he think? He'd hate me…._

Michael brought me out of my thoughts, saying "Heh, hey, what are you looking at, something on my face?" I shook my head fervently, breaking out of my stupor.

"Uh, uh no. I was just surprised is all, I didn't think you'd be so… I mean, uh…." _Dammit! Why can't I say anything? _He only laughed, nodding.

"It's alright, a lot of people are surprised when they see me like this. But don't be fooled. I'm still the same asshole, just in prettier packaging." I almost groaned at the mention of _packages_. _Get it together, Kaito!_

"Well, hey, it's kind of late, almost past suppertime really," I started, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. I was planning on telling him that he should head home, but when he began to pout- barely pushing out his bottom lip- I caved. "If you're hungry, I can go cook us something to eat, and we can get to know each other better. If you want, that is," I hastily added. He brightened up immediately, nodding.

"That sounds great!"

**You Make Me Wanna**

I made hamburgers, something simple but still tasty, and we sat down to eat. I absently wondered when Gakupo was coming home. But as I talked with Michael, Gakupo was slowly pushed to the back of my mind. As we ate, the angel made me smile, made me laugh and I loved it. A small part of me felt guilty for enjoying someone's company so thoroughly when I had a boyfriend, but the other, much larger part was too busy with being enthralled every time Michael gave me a compliment to be guilty. I knew that technically I wasn't cheating… but when I was rendered a blushing, giggling moron just because the angel gave me a particularly bright smile, it was hard not to feel like a lying bastard.

Michael must have noticed my distress because a moment after I stopped laughing, I felt a warm hand on my knee. I bit my lip at the contact, wanting to move away from the heat his hand radiated through my jeans, but I stayed still, looking him in the eye.

"What's wrong, Kaito?" he asked softly. I shrugged nervously, chuckling.

_"You make me wanna leave the one I'm with, start a new relationship with you,"_ Usher crooned from the radio. _Not helping, douchebag_, I thought to myself.

"Nothing, I just…" I trailed off, unsure of how to continue. I knew I should tell him that I couldn't do this- but what exactly was this? We weren't getting drunk, we weren't kissing, we _definitely_ weren't fucking, so what was the problem? "Heh, it's nothing," I said with a smile.

He grinned, pulling his hand away. "You know, it's Christmas Eve, why don't we drink some wine to celebrate, huh? Just until Gakupo comes home." _Well, scratch the not getting drunk point,_ I thought to myself. I knew what my answer should have been: no, I'm afraid that's not a good idea, how about we play Chutes and Ladders instead?

But somehow, I felt my lips forming a much different response. "Yeah, that sounds great. I'll get the glasses if you can find the wine." And just like that, I ruined any chance of Gakupo and I ever getting over our little spat from earlier.  
**Friend of Mine **Gakupo POV

I wandered around the small portion of heaven I was familiar with, cursing under my breath. That bastard, why did he have to die?!

"All I wanted was for him to move on, to have a life and be _happy_- oh… _oh!_" Suddenly, I realized what I had done, how I had hurt the most important person of my… existence. Even if he had killed himself on purpose, he had done it to be with me, to be happy, and if all I wanted was for him to be happy, then I had no right to yell at him, no right at all…. I had to go back, I had to apologize for what I had done. I almost ran home, but stopped myself, shaking my head at my stupidity. Hailing a carriage, I told the man where I lived. "Please hurry." Soon, I was home, standing in front of my door. _What should I do? Do I knock, or just walk in?_ Deciding to just walk in, I opened the door, calling out to Kaito.

"Baby? Babe I'm so sorry, I-" I froze in my tracks, eyes widened at seeing Kaito, the owner of my _heart_, heatedly making out with a very grown up Michael. They immediately broke apart, staring at me like a pair of deer caught in headlights.

Then: "Gakupo? Oh God, Gaku I can explain!" Kaito hurried to untangle himself from the angel, falling onto the carpet as he tried to make his way to me. I didn't miss the way his words were slurred, nor did I miss the empty wine bottle on the floor. Miss _all three_ of the empty wine bottles I should say. I struggled to find my voice as Kaito struggled to find his balance, a surprised _huh_ finding its way past my lips as Kaito found his way to his feet.

"Babe?" I should have been raging. I should have been yelling and screaming and kicking Michael's ass for doing this to me, kicking Kaito's ass _out_ for doing this to me… and yet all I could say was one broken, confused word.

"Gaku, I- we, uh…. We got drunk and you didn't come home and Michael was- I was- oh God I'm so sorry!" Kaito moaned, latching onto me. His arms wrapped themselves tightly around my waist, but I made no move to reciprocate the embrace. I know he said more than that, but all I was really aware of was that he was sobbing into my shirt, soaking my front with salty tears.

This infuriated me.

"Why are you crying?" I asked softly. Kaito looked up in confusion, tears leaking from his big blue eyes in an almost endearing way, despite the situation. I repeated myself, pushing him away. "Why are _you_ crying? _I'm_ the one who walked in on you, the love of my life and my death, kissing who I thought was my best friend." At least Michael had the decency to look somewhat guilty about that. Taking a deep breath, I stepped further in to the living room, forcing Kaito to move back. "I don't understand why that's making _you_ cry." He sputtered for a moment, unsure of how to respond. When he opened his mouth to speak, I held up my hand. "Save it. I don't want to hear it right now, not on-" I stopped, looking down at my watch nodding. "We're not doing this on Christmas." I turned to the angel, beginning to quiver with fury as I noticed his rather ruffled appearance, particularly his half unbuttoned shirt.

"Heh, uh, marry Christmas?" he asked guiltily. I glared, pointing behind me.

"I want you out of my house," I snapped. Kaito watched me fearfully as Michael got up. As he passed me, he stopped.

"Gakupo, don't get mad at him, alright? It's not his fault it's mine. You know how I get, and he's such a cute little bugger, I couldn't help myself. You can be mad at me, but you know that one day we're all gonna laugh this off, right?" he asked, his large wings rustling hopefully. I nodded solemnly.

"Yeah. But it is not this day," I murmured, looking away. (To anyone who gets the Lord of the Rings reference, I'm sorry, I just had to! ;D) He sighed, and then left. Soon, it was just me and Kaito in the room. I looked at him and he flinched, as if expecting me to blow up on him. And I wanted to, but the feelings of hurt and betrayal choked me, stopping any words from leaving my throat. After a few moments of our intense staring contest, I shook my head with a tired sigh, walking out of the door. As I left, even above Kaito's anguished sob I could hear the radio mourning my discovery.

_"But she betrayed me. I caught her with him coming in from outta town Tell me why?"_ Kelly Price moaned.

**N/R**

After what happened, Gakupo didn't come home until the next evening. Despite how tired I was, I couldn't let myself sleep. I didn't deserve to sleep, not after what I had done to him. When he walked in from the door, I jumped up from the couch, falling to my knees in front of him.

"Gakupo, I can't even begin to explain to you how sorry I am. I can't make you understand the guilt that's tearing me apart. You should never forgive me, you should kick me out of your house, out of your life… but I have to ask your forgiveness," I said, preparing for his yells. But he didn't yell, and that confused me. I felt his calloused hand- rough from splitting so much wood when he was younger- cup my chin, gently forcing me to look up at him. "Gaku…?" I asked, perplexed He only smiled sadly, moving his hand to take mine and pull me up.

"Baby, I told you, we don't need to do this on Christmas. Now come on, I've got a present for you," he whispered softly, stroking my hair as he pulled me close. I gasped, unable to process his words.

"Gakupo, how can you just brush what I did off like that, you should hate me, you should-" he cut me off with a finger against my lips.

"We don't have to talk about it now, alright?" he said, pulling me to the couch. I let myself be seated, looking at him with my brows furled. He pulled something wrapped in light blue tissue paper from his pocket, smiling. "When I went down to the world of the living I gave you this. But then right after, you died, so it took a bit of searching for to find again. I just wanted you to have this back." He handed me the object and I slowly unwrapped it, feeling tears run down my cheeks. Why was he doing this, why wasn't he yelling and screaming at me?

Why wasn't he breaking up with me?

"Do you like it?" he asked quietly. I looked at the small circular locket in my hand. On the face of the locket was a small sapphire that glinted at me in a much too cheerful way. On the inside was a lock of purple hair, Gakupo's. It was tied together with a single strand of blue hair, mine. Resisting the urge to sob, I nodded fervently.

"It's beautiful." _And I don't deserve this, _I thought morosely. Then I looked up, sniffing. "Gakupo, please. We can't just ignore what happened last night. We need to talk." He bowed his head in a slow nod.

"If you insist…" he mumbled. Despite agreeing to talk, we sat silently for a few more moments. Then he said "I love you, with all of my heart. And I just want you to be happy, so…. I think that you should go be with Michael. I know he'd love you, and he's kind of an ass sometimes, but he always treats the people he cares about right." My heart literally skipped a beat, maybe even two. _So he _is_ breaking up with me…._

I opened my mouth to argue, my hands twitching with the need to shake him and tell him that all I wanted was him, Gakupo Kamui! But I stopped, biting my lip. I didn't deserve Gakupo, not after what I had done. He obviously wanted me gone, and was trying to tell me without being harsh about it. After what I had done to him, if he wanted me gone then the least I could do was… go. Slipping the locket on, I nodded, looking down.

"There's a carriage outside waiting. Just tell him you need to find Michael, the angel, and he'll take you where you need to be," he said. Numbly, I got up, heading to the door. I walked slowly, hoping that maybe he would call out and tell me that he didn't mean it, that he was willing to forgive me if I swore to never hurt him again, and I would have more than willingly made that swear- but he didn't call out. And before I knew it, I was out the door, heading to the carriage.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Alright, it's been a bit, but thankfully not as long as it usually is, lol. Sigh, hopefully I get done soon, cause it's sad that this is still based during Christmas… anyways, here is the fifth chapter! I'm thinking there'll be maybe two more, and probably an epilogue as well, so we're almost done. I don't know whether to cry or cheer, XD. Umm, as usual, I don't own vocaloids, or any of the songs I mention in the fic. Warnings for this chapter include some cursing, some serious angst, some malexmale action, no sex but some heavy kissing, and uh, a slightly depressing ending… yeah, I'm not proud of that, lol. Enjoy, please remember to review! It makes me happy and when I'm happy I write faster!**

* * *

**Michael's POV**

When Kaito showed up at my door, sobbing his eyes out, I might have freaked a little. But I'd like to think I handled the situation as anyone else would have.

"Why did he send you here?! We just kissed, that's no reason to break up and dump you on me!" Okay, so maybe I could have done things with a bit more finesse. But hell, it was kind of disconcerting having what was supposed to be a harmless fling show up at my doorstep telling me his ex thought were would make a nice couple.

After my little outburst, I immediately apologized, inviting Kaito in. He kind of worried me a little. From all my experience with him, he tended to act rashly. Angels show up in his living room, he threatens to beat them, his boyfriend has to go back to being dead, and he kills himself, albeit inadvertently, and then when a pretty stranger shows up after he fights with aforementioned boyfriend, he makes out with said stranger, perhaps in an attempt to get back at the boyfriend, though given his reaction to being caught, I doubt it. And now here he was, freshly single and hurting like hell. What would he do now?

Gabriel's voice echoed in my ears, scolding me and saying something about keeping my hands to myself so that I didn't get into situations like this, and I resisted the urge to argue with the voice and point out that I had never been in a situation quite like this. Sighing, I sat down in a chair and motioned for him to do the same, wishing, not for the first time, that I could behave myself like other angels. _They_ never had issues with making out with their friends' boyfriends.

"What do I do, Michael?" Kaito's plea for help broke my concentration and I realized he had been talking to me. Flushing with guilt, I reluctantly shrugged.

"I'm not entirely sure…. I've never dealt with something like this, though surely someone else has. There's always at least one person to have experienced every experience it's possible go through," I said, hoping the thought was comforting. It only seemed to make Kaito cry harder, and I sighed, leaning back into my chair. "Kaito, I really am sorry about this. I know that doesn't help, but if there's any way I _can_ help tell me." The words that came out of my mouth surprised me just as much as they did him. I didn't try to help people. Not usually, anyways.

But then, I had never ruined someone's relationship, at least not to my knowledge, and I felt the urge to redeem myself. Before I could stop myself, I reached out and pulled one of the bluenette's hands, holding it in both of my own. "Michael?" he asked, hiccupping slightly. I gave him my most comforting smile, glad that I was in my child body. Everything I did as an adult always seemed more coquettish than I intended, but as a child, even I had to note how I looked much kinder than I actually was. He hesitantly smiled back, making no move to remove his hand from mine. We sat like that for much longer than was necessary, but surprisingly, I didn't mind.

Then, shaking his head as if to clear it, he said, "Can I have a glass of water?" I nodded, letting go of his hand and getting up. I winced as my body protested, feeling more cooped up in my smaller form than usual. Giving my wings a slight shake to try and relieve the tension, I got Kaito his cup of water, nodding when he thanked me. Again, we sat quietly for a while, the only sound coming from Kaito sipping his water and me occasionally shaking my wings. And again, he was the one to break the silence. "It's not just your fault," he mumbled, looking away. I wanted to argue, but he was right.

"Still, if I had kept my hands to myself, we wouldn't be here, now would we?" I said, wanting to be sure he knew wasn't entirely to blame. He shrugged, still not looking at me. For a third time we fell silent, and this time I could feel how thick the tension in the air was. I absentmindedly shook my wings again, and Kaito huffed, glaring at me.

"You said that was uncomfortable, so why don't you just change back in to your adult form?" he asked snippily. I blushed. I hadn't known my discomfort was so obvious. I wanted to change back, but felt a bit apprehensive about it. Sometimes my forms retained feelings from when I had last used them, and I wasn't sure how Kaito would react if I jumped him. After a potent glare, though, I decided I could control myself.

"Close your eyes," I warned. He did as he was told, and I changed. It always gave me such a warm, tingly feeling to switch forms, especially when switching from my younger body to my older one. When I had first come into existence, the sensation made me giggle for hundreds of years. But slowly, I became accustomed to it, and didn't even grin anymore. Not that I was really pleased about that, but it is more convent when I'm trying to stay angry with someone.

My transformation done, I let Kaito know it was safe to open his eyes. As he did so, he visibly relaxed, as though some worry had been dispelled. I, on the other hand, felt even more tense than before, though not in the same way. My head swimming pleasantly with the drunkness from last night, and with a slight tingling in my crotch that had nothing to do with the transformation, I cursed myself for noticing just how appealing Kaito looked. Yeah, this wasn't gonna end well.

**Diet Mtn Dew**

Michael and I sat quietly for about thirty minutes. I think I dozed off just a bit. Then Michael must have gotten bored, or thought it was too quiet because soon, music drifted through the air in to my ears. I scowled inadvertently.

"Something wrong?" Michael asked. I shrugged, looking down at my lap. I didn't know how to explain that I just didn't like music anymore without telling him that the radio seemed to have been playing music a bit too fitting for the situation a lot recently, and that seemed silly, even to me. I sighed quietly, laying my head back against the couch. "Are you alright?" he asked softly. I chuckled, though there was no real mirth in the sound.

"Since when are you so nice?" There was a rustling sound that I assumed was his wings shuffling as he shrugged.

"I am an asshole, I have no shame in admitting that. But I've never ruined someone's chance at eternal happiness before… and I feel like I have to try and help somehow." I bit my lip, looking up at the white ceiling.

"How do you know Gakupo would have stayed with me for eternity?" I asked weakly. He didn't answer, and at the squeak of his protesting chair, I thought he had gotten up and left. Then I felt the couch dip next to me, and a hand gently forced me to look at Michael.

"I know because Gakupo loved you, it was obvious in the way he talked about you…. He talked about you a lot, you know. And when he found out he was gonna get to see you for Christmas, he looked like all the holidays had been crammed in to a week…" the angel trailed off, looking away. Letting his hand fall from my face, he shook his head. "And I'm the one who ruined that. I never should have switched to this form around you." I cocked my head to the side.

"Why should different forms make a difference? I mean, yeah, you're very… attractive, but-"

"That's not what I meant," he snapped, cutting me off. I felt my brows knit together in confusion. "Sorry for snapping… it's just , a bit of a touchy subject." He murmured, looking away.

"Tell me." He eyed me nervously, then shrugged, letting out a gust of air.

"Why not? It's not like I can screw things up more than I already have." He gave me a wry smile, shifting to fully face me. Then, he added, "Just don't… don't tell anyone, especially not my friends. I don't want them to know about my… problems." He paused, and it took him a moment to speak again, his words shuddering with anxiety. "Angels like me, the ones that screw up all the time… we're uh, we're different. Gabriel, he's a saint. He's never said a cruel to anyone, nor has he ever hurt anyone intentionally. But I- I suck." He laughed hard, squeezing his hands into fists. "I fucked up bad once. The story of how isn't important. The point is, as a test of my worth, my personality was, well, split, for lack of a better word. As a punishment for my, er, discrepancy, shall we say, I have to prove that even when it's in my nature to be a dick, I can still be a good person. It's proving to be difficult, to say the least, but I thought I had been getting the hang of it- until last night of course. Usually I have Gabriel with me to sort of reel me back in when I start to get wild. It's easier for him when I'm adult, I've noticed…" As he spoke, his expression was dark and irate until he spoke of the other angel, Gabriel. I smiled.

"What are your different personalities like?" I asked, nudging him back in to our subject. Again, his brow furrowed in frustration.

"When I'm a kid, I'm a little shit. I love playing tricks on people, and usually, I take it too far. As a kid, I don't really have that many redeeming qualities." He eyes looked in my direction, but his gaze was so far away that he might as well have been looking right through me. His nose scrunched up in anger as he refocused on me. "But as an adult, it's worse. I- I… I'm nicer, sure. But I'm also easier to… tempt. As an adult, I'm charismatic and smooth, and have a bad habit of hooking up with pretty girls, and pretty boys, I s'pose. And maybe that wouldn't be so bad if I had any sense of commitment, which I don't…." He didn't speak for a moment, and neither did I. Then, with a deep breath, he looked down. I cocked my head to the side.

"Michael?" I asked, worried. He chuckled quietly, shaking his head. I could hear him softly muttering something, as though he were arguing with himself. It seemed as though he had come to a decision because when he looked back up at me, there was determination in his lively blue eyes, along with something else that had been there the night before. As his hand slowly came up to my face, I felt my breath hitch. He stroked my cheek with the back of his hand and I leaned in to the touch, despite myself.

"You don't want me," he whispered, leaning forward. "You don't need me; I'm no good… especially not for someone as sweet and pretty as you." I found myself nodding in agreement, but that didn't stop me from leaning toward him as well. "You know I'll only fuck things up… will you still…?" he trailed off, leaving me to decide for myself what he was asking. I bit my lip, forcing myself to breath slowly so as to not let him know how nervous he was making me. Part of me knew this was a bad idea, and just like the night before, it was going crazy, struggling to pull me back. _Gakupo, Gakupo, Gakupo!_ It shouted at me, trying to remind me of my purple-haired love. As my heart pounded and my skin flushed with heat I shook my head. _Gakupo doesn't want me,_ I thought bitterly. _He made that clear this morning, made it clear that Michael would be better_.

It would only take one word to deny my heart and appease my body: "_Yes_."

Michael licked his lips, his eyes burning with what I realized was lust. His fiery gaze drew me in, his hands snatching mine. He used them to pull me to him, making me gasp as he devoured my lips with a hungry fervor that I eagerly returned. I moved to straddle him, to reach his lips with better ease but he pushed me against the couch, holding my hands above my head. He nipped at my lips, and I opened my mouth, giving him access. When his hot wet tongue slipped in to my mouth I moaned. He tasted impossibly of the sweet red wine we had drunk the night before, and I imagined that just the taste of him made me tipsy. _Gakupo, Gakupo,_ my heart cried. _Michael, Michael, need **Michael**_, my body argued. As our tongues fought, pressing against each other and slipping against each other, vying for dominance, a new song came onto the radio that again was so appropriate- too much so.

_"You're no good for me. Baby you're no good for me. You're no good for me. But baby I want you, I want,"_ Lana Del Rey insisted. I moaned in agreement.

I grunted as he straddled me and ground down. He was already hardening, and the thought made me groan and buck back up against him. Our kiss grew needier, more violent and I whimpered as our teeth clacked together, catching my bottom lip and making it bleed. The pungent tang of copper in my mouth made me wince, and helped to clear my head of the lust that threatened to overtake my mind. It took a bit of effort to pull back because Michael followed my lips, but when I whined and turned my head he understood and moved back, his pupils blown so wide his eyes looked black.

"Gakupo doesn't want me anymore," I panted. "Do you want me? Will you help me to forget him, even if just for tonight?" He looked as if he was about to answer when the door opened. We both turned to look and saw a small blond child with wings come in through the door. He smile faltered when he saw me.

"Uh, hi," he said a bit nervously. "Um, Michael, who's this? Is it a new super best friend?" Michael jumped off of me as though I had shocked him, shaking his head.

"No, this is Kaito. I uh, kind of screwed things up for him and we were, uh, we were..." Immediately the small angel's expression grew sour as he frowned.

"Ugh, Michael, I love to see you meet new people and all, but what happened to the 'keep it out of the house rule'?" he asked in exasperation. My cheeks burned with a blush as I scoffed, about to stand when Michael put a hand on my leg to stop me.

"This is different, Gabe. He's not a fling, he's just a friend," he said defensively. The blond looked me over, snorting.

"Right, and I'm seven foot tall. Nice as you are Michael, you don't go making out with 'just friends', or at least you didn't used to." Taking another look at me he said, "But maybe this 'just friend' was too pretty to resist?" I bristled at be scanned over so derisively and spoken of like I wasn't even there, opening my mouth to give the brat a piece of my mind when Michael held up a hand.

"You seven foot tall in your adult form," he pointed out to the other angel. Gabe, or as I assumed him to be, Gabriel shook his head, walking out of the living room. There was a flash from the hallway that made my vision go dull and dark. I couldn't help but cry out slightly, making Michael huff. "Dammit Gabriel! Could you at least go in to a different room before doing that? You blinded him!" I shook my head.

"Not completely. I can see shapes at least," I said slowly. Michael squeezed my shoulder comfortingly.

"It'll get better in a few seconds," he reassured me. I nodded, glad to see that my sight was already improving. _At least I didn't get too hard, he might have been so irritated he would have just changed right in front of me,_ I thought gratefully, though even if I had been completely stiff I wouldn't be anymore. Nothing wilted an erection faster than getting caught in the act, except maybe getting pissed off.

"Hey, Michael, tell him to cover his eyes so I can go in to the kitchen and get a drink," a deep voice called out from the hallway. Michael cocked his head to the side.

"Why, are you naked?" he asked, scrunching up his nose. There was a quiet snort from the hall before Gabriel continued.

"No, remember? Angel Daze? I'd rather not get jumped." Michael slapped his forehead, jumping up.

"Angel Daze! My God, that's it!" he shouted victoriously. Gabriel popped out from the hall, gasping.

"Michael! Language!" he snapped. I squinted at him, my eyes not quite up to par yet, and he squeaked, practically diving out of sight. "Don't look at me!" My brow furrowed in confusion.

"Michael, what's Angel Daze?" I asked, looking up at him. He turned to me, grinning. Then, after a second, his grin faded away, and he looked at me with a sad smile.

"I think I can get Gakupo to take you back," he said. I gaped at him, my heart stuttering.

"Are you being serious? Or just joking with me, cause I swear if this is a joke I'll castrate you with a spoon." He only laughed quietly.

"Seriously, Kaito. It wasn't your fault, it really was all me… I forgot about Angel Daze. Without taking the proper precautions while revealing my true form to you, there wasn't any way you could have resisted me, even if I asked you to jump off a bridge." I raised an eyebrow, eyeing him skeptically.

"Alright, maybe I'll believe you if you tell me what the hell Angel Daze is." Again, Gabriel's voice floated in from the hall.

"Angel Daze is when a human sees an angel for in his true form when there isn't any other humans around and is completely enchanted. In the beginning of mankind's life, God meant for it to make the introduction process between humans and angels easier but anymore it just causes problems," he explained. My heart began to pound as I slowly realized what that meant.

"So I wasn't really… I don't actually-"

"Like me?" he asked, cutting me off. I nodded, biting my lip. He sighed, shaking his head. "Not really, at least not in the way it seems. That's why when Gakupo came in, you sobered up real quick. Like Gabe said, it only affects humans when there isn't any other humans around, but once one does come-" he snapped his fingers unexpectedly, making me flinch. "You come to your senses." I looked down, listening to my heart purr with pleasure. _Gakupo, Gakupo is the only one,_ it boasted. My body tried to shake itself, to understand what this meant. _But- but Michael…_ it whispered sorrowfully.

"What are you waiting for?" Michael asked bitterly. "Aren't you going to go find Gakupo and get him back?" I looked at him guiltily.

"He wouldn't believe me, I don't think…." He nodded knowingly.

"Then I'll just go with you and explain everything to him." I swiftly pulled him to me in a tight hug. He froze, his arms stiff at his sides and I squeezed him, sighing in what I think was relief, and maybe just a little of regret.

"Thank you, Michael," I whispered. His tension melted away and he returned the embrace, wrapping his arms around me and patting my back.

"Of course," he murmured. "Like I said, I want to help in any way I can…"

**Gakupo's POV**

**Always On My Mind**

After Kaito had left, I worked to clean the house, working harder than I usually would. I kept the radio on to distract myself humming with songs I knew and bobbing my head to those I didn't. I tried to pretend that I was happy, that it was a good decision to send Kaito to Michael. After all, if that's who he wanted, who was I to hold him back? True, I had been hoping that…. I had hoped that he would correct me when I said I thought he wanted to be with Michael, but obviously I had been right, so…. I shook my head angrily, trying to clear it of Michael. Thinking of him only made my fists clench with the urge to punch something, preferably his stupid face. Instead, I focused on the task at hand: getting all the glass of the carpet in my office. I shook my head, disappointed with myself for getting so angry.

_If I had held my temper, maybe I wouldn't be here alone…_ I thought dejectedly._ I'd probably be lying in bed, sleeping in with Kaito for Christmas morning._ I sighed, sitting on my haunches. I had screwed up a lot of things in the past few days, and in reality, it was my fault Kaito was gone….

_"Little things I should have said and done, I just never took the time. You were always on my mind, You were always on my mind,"_ Elvis admitted from the radio.

I sighed… would Kaito always be on my mind? I hissed in pain as a sliver of glass sliced my finger. I huffed, snapping up and stomping off to the bathroom. I ignored my reflection in favor of opening the medicine cabinet, only to discover I was out of Band-Aids.

"Shit," I cursed quietly. Rolling my eyes in irritation I stomped back out of the bathroom, heading out of the house to go to the market square. I didn't bother to lock my door as I stepped out of the house. Heaven and all that jazz. I looked up at the shining sun, wishing for the first time that weather wasn't always perfect in heaven. I sighed, jamming my hands in to my pockets. Maybe I'd move to an area of heaven with seasons.

As I walked I stared down at my feet, not paying attention to the dark shapes in the marble sidewalk. Instead, I breathed in deeply, trying to focus only on the sweet air that usually set my mind at ease. It helped some. But not much.

Finally, I came to the square, crossing the street quickly to avoid an oncoming carriage. I didn't stop to talk with the nice girl at the register in the grocery store like I use to, and I could tell it she was miffed, but she only smiled, then moved on to her next customer. I shuffled my way out of the story, cursing under my breath to see that it was rush hour. I wouldn't be able to cross the street for at least ten minutes. I plopped on to a bench to wait, earning an older ladies gaze of disapproval as I slouched. I resisted the urge to snap at her to fuck off and stared off in to space. Then I noticed a familiar blue flickering from behind the carriages that raced by at unnatural speeds. I squinted, looking harder and gasped.

"Kaito," I whispered under my breath. If I focused I could make out him and Michael. I scowled, about to look away when I realized they were arguing. My view of them wasn't continuous so I couldn't read their lips and even if they hadn't of been across the street, the thundering of the carriages still would have drowned their voices out. Kaito pointed in my direction. I think he yelled something. Michael pointed in my direction as well, but I got the feeling he meant the carriages, not me. Kaito shook his head. He moved toward the street only to have Michael snatch his wrist and pull him back, protesting vehemently. His response was an angry look as Kaito struggled to pull his hand away. I jumped up, shouting angrily. "Michael! Let him go, dammit!" I yelled, though, they couldn't hear me.

Kaito fought harder to pull away, dragging Michael with him towards the street. My heart leapt in to my throat. Time itself seemed to slow down as they got closer and closer to the street. Suddenly, I found myself praying that Michael wouldn't let go. Michael tugged, seeming with all his might. Kaito began to move back, not a match for the angel's strength. I let out a sigh of relief. Michael could pull Kaito back away from the street. Even as they struggled the carriages seemed to slow down. Rush hour was ending. Then I realized everything wasn't slowing down, I was seeing everything in slow motion. As I saw Kaito's hand slip out of Michael's I figured out why. My heart stopped and I yelled out as Kaito fell back from the force of no longer being pulled on.


End file.
